The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
