Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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