Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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