bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
