I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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