Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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