You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
