my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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