She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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