Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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