So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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