I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
