You really coming over, don't trick.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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