I like to think it a success when the cops are called
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Randomize
