shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
