Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
