when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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