Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
