did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
