last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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