More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize