I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
