I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
