I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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