My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
