my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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