Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
