You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
PANTIES FOUND
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