i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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