don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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