I will die if light touches me.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
