I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
