Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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