At least make sure they are 18
Why
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
