This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
