I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I believe in your delicious
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
