I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
