I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Holy sore nipples Batman
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
