Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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