I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
love makes seman taste better
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
