Fine. I'll sleep in my office
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
