im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
