Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
