Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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