I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
