No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
