Pants 0. Shit 1.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
