I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
