lets start a swedish sibling band together
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
