I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize