So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We got so high we made milksteak
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
