i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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