The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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