AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
