The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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